IF YOU WANNA KILL YOUR MARRIAGE, JUST DO THIS TO YOUR HUBBY
BROTHER डैनी
If some of you ladies want to know how you can suck the life out of your marriage and drive your husband to insanity … or to the bar … or into the arms of another woman … or to a divorce attorney … or just shrivel him up into a conquered quail who inwardly loathes you as he dies a slow, emotionally tortuous death, well then … this is your lucky day.
Here are 10 surefire principles that’ll make your husband more miserable:
NAG YOUR HUSBAND
Nagging is an awesome instrument in the Torture Your Hubby Toolbox. For a wife to be effective at draining a husband’s love for her and, for life itself, she must not buy into this “loving, sweet, polite and patient” goofiness towards him. On the contrary, she must be a nerve grating, contentious, non-stop dripping faucet of fault-finding and finger pointing. Ladies, if you run out of things to nag your husband about, turn your spurn towards politics, church, culture, friends, neighbours, weather, work, or your children. It doesn’t matter what you blather about—just blather. The point is to become a persistent source of audio pain in your husband’s brain.
CRITICIZE YOUR HUSBAND IN PUBLIC
Waling on your husband in private is good, but it is incomplete. What you’ve got to do, devil woman, is go the next step and publicly shame him. Melt him down when you’re out on the town. Is he going bald, talk about it and how you don’t like it. Does he have a little beer belly? Call him a pig and compare him to The Beast. Did he have a financial set back? Tell your friends! Become a big mouth at indiscriminately unveiling anything about your spouse that’ll cause him to want to jump in front of a speeding bus.
KEEP HIM ON A SHORT LEASH
Better yet - a choke chain. Your goal is three-fold: make your man to feel, fear and heel to your wrath. You’ve got to verbally shackle him to your commands. Make him believe like he can’t sit, stand, play, think, speak or spend money unless you, the queen condor, allow him to. By short leashing your husband with an exacting set of laws, you will, in short order, morph in his head from being his lover to being his mother. This masochistic machination of insane restrictions will make your man feel like a stupid son, controlled by you, his new petulant mummy. Forever gone will be the friend, fan, soul mate and confidant stuff that initially drew the two of you together. Forever gone will be the friend, fan, soul mate and confidant stuff that initially drew the two of you together.
BECOME A DRAMA QUEEN
Another thing that’ll make your husband long to be stranded at the Msimbazi Round About with no where to look at, and no one to keep him company is, become a drama mama. Yes, your goal, ghoulfriend, is to ratchet up every situation so that you emotionally drain your man. Make the atmosphere of your home tense. Make everything, especially the small things, turn into a five alarm fire. The thing drama queens do so effectively is jack up the stress levels in the relationship. This, naturally, robs the relationship of the fertile presence of peace. This redlining, high RPM spirit will stretch his nerves more out of shape.
HATE HIS FRIENDS
Separate your husband from his comrades quickly. You mustn’t allow your husband to hang out with anyone but you. Sever those relational ties your companion has with those who have walked to hell and back with him because now, yes now . . . it’s all about you. You especially want to steer him clear of friends who feel the liberty and responsibility to shed light on you, the whacked wife. In addition, get your guy away from those buddies who have amazing and gracious wives or girlfriends. “Why?” you ask. Well, a loving, caring and an affirming couple will expose your broom riding proclivities and put needed pressure on you to dial freaking down. Remember and beware: trusted and wise friends are able to bring perspective to marital mayhem.
HATE HIS HOBBY
Keeping the husband from his friends is not enough because your husband still has an out in his hobby. Your goal is to joy steal anywhere pleasure can be had, and it is here that hobbies figure in greatly. Therefore, set your cross hairs immediately upon that which flicks his diversionary switch. You don’t want him to enjoy anything that you don’t like. Your duty: remove any recourse he has to find solace in something. Additionally, hobbies create relationships built around shared likes, and remember, your goal is to keep him on a choke chain, with no comrades, sequestered in the house to listen to you moo. Never, under any circumstance, take an interest in his interests, encourage him in his pursuits and just simply let the boy play, as this understanding spirit could actually make him take a shining’ to you and you wouldn’t want that to happen.
CUT HIM OFF SEXUALLY
Another great way to make your man hit a depressed state is to cut him off from hot relations. I mean, give him nada. Guys will stomach some nagging, getting short leashed, multitudinous Naomi Campbellesque dramatic outbursts and your general disinterest of his interests—as long as you rock his world in the bedroom. Yes, most men are that easy. Under no circumstances should you show appreciation, be tender, fun, amorous and adventurous or do any other thing that’ll keep the love flame lit. TLC, if injected into the marriage mix, will cause the two of you to have a healthy sexual relationship, which obviously helps a marriage (plus burns calories)—and that would completely derail your desires for marital misery.
GET YOUR SIBLINGS INVOLVED IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Forget this leave and cleave stuff the Bible dictates. If you want your union to unravel then you’ve got to gang tackle your husband with la familia. For example: if you, as a couple, have a major decision to make, seek counsel and opinions only from your mom and dad, rather than your husband. This will give him that stooge/stepchild feeling of useless stupidity that is, a great alienating agent.
NEVER APOLOGIZE
If, in the odd event you do something that hurts your husband, or … say the unlikely occasion arises where you were woefully and ridiculously wrong on an issue, never, I mean never, under any circumstance, apologize for anything. Why should you say you’re sorry? You … apologize? Please. Whether it’s low blood sugar or the vast ring wing conspiracy, you, the marital femme fatale, are fortunate to live in the 21st century. In this therapeutic age you are afforded excuses aplenty that will help you destroy your marriage by never owning or asking for forgiveness for your hellish behavior.
LOOK UGLY
Women come in all shapes and sizes. The majority of men that I know (who love the testosterone, heterosexual, God-blessed fog in which they dwell) really like women. That is, as long as the ladies take care of what the good Lord has given them. The successful marriages I’ve seen know and abide by this golden nugget: always look your best … to constantly attract and show respect for your mate. It also aids in not terrifying dogs and small children.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” - King Solomon, Proverbs 14.1. And do you mind if I say this; "Well-behaved women rarely make history."
Ends.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
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JUST ANOTHER THOUGHT
JUST ANOTHER THOUGHT
A person asked God, “What surprises you most about mankind?”
And God answered,
“That they loose their Health to make money and they loose their money to restore their Health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die and they die as if they had never lived.….”
A person asked God, “What surprises you most about mankind?”
And God answered,
“That they loose their Health to make money and they loose their money to restore their Health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die and they die as if they had never lived.….”
BECAUSE I'M A MAN...
Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I’m a man, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger I mean, how the hell could he know where we’re going?
Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t.
Because I’m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother’s day is okay, I don’t need to see it. And don’t forget to pick up something for my mommy, too!
Because I’m a man, I am capable of announcing, “one more beer and I really have to go”, and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what’s the connection?
Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.
Because I’m a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.
Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I’m a man and this is, after all, the 90’s, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.
Because I’m a man, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger I mean, how the hell could he know where we’re going?
Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t.
Because I’m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother’s day is okay, I don’t need to see it. And don’t forget to pick up something for my mommy, too!
Because I’m a man, I am capable of announcing, “one more beer and I really have to go”, and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what’s the connection?
Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.
Because I’m a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.
Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I’m a man and this is, after all, the 90’s, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.
A SIMPLE GUIDE TO LIFE
1. Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.
3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
4. If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.
5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
6. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
7. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.
9. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four groups: the bonbon group, that salty-snack group, the caffeine group and the “What ever-it-is-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge”.
10. Into every life some rain must fall. Unusually when your car windows are down.
11. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor’s car!
12. When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers and just give them a noogie.
13. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That’s the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.
14. It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
15. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. It’s a lot cheaper than plastic surgery.
16. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay in your land.
17. Love is like a roller coaster: When it’s good you don’t want to get off, and when it isn’t, you can’t wait to throw up.
2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.
3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
4. If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.
5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
6. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
7. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.
9. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four groups: the bonbon group, that salty-snack group, the caffeine group and the “What ever-it-is-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge”.
10. Into every life some rain must fall. Unusually when your car windows are down.
11. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor’s car!
12. When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers and just give them a noogie.
13. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That’s the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.
14. It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
15. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. It’s a lot cheaper than plastic surgery.
16. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay in your land.
17. Love is like a roller coaster: When it’s good you don’t want to get off, and when it isn’t, you can’t wait to throw up.
DEDICATION TO YOUNG PEOPLE
Youth is a time of hope. Also of uncertainty. But for a person who is young and healthy, uncertainty just means a challenge. It is important to be positive. First of all about yourself. But also about your family and your people. As a unique person and each human being are unique, you have enormous potential. Because you have so much potential, people may sometimes feel negatively challenged by that potential and try to undermine it.
You have to fight for your right to make your place in society. To do that you have to use all the chances given you now to be a positive element in whatever situation you find yourself in, in future. So, it may be necessary to be a ‘rebel in reverse’ as it were. That takes real courage, to set your goal and stick to it. You choose your crowd. You exercise your right to choose.
Don’t lose your freedom for the sake of anyone. Real freedom, freedom to choose the right thing, the best for you.
Always bear a few things in mind while exercising your right to choose.
* Never take a decision when you are in a fit of anger or depression.
* Never take a decision when you are emotionally high.
* Why should fads or the decision of the group tie you down?
* What are you?
* What do you want tomorrow to be for you?
No matter how strong the group decision may be, you must think and make your decision. Many times it is necessary to consult before taking a decision. Go to someone whose life you admire, not necessarily the person you like most, but the person who is whole, who is one person, wherever she or he is and whatever she or he does.
* Remember that there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow is hope. Very few things are ‘written in stone’. Most of the mistakes we make can be rectified. They can be corrected. Problems have a solution, and each new day is a new start, a new chance, a New Hope. Indeed the youth are our hope you are our future.
Also remember that your parents love you unconditionally, you have their support and want the best in life for you ¨
You have to fight for your right to make your place in society. To do that you have to use all the chances given you now to be a positive element in whatever situation you find yourself in, in future. So, it may be necessary to be a ‘rebel in reverse’ as it were. That takes real courage, to set your goal and stick to it. You choose your crowd. You exercise your right to choose.
Don’t lose your freedom for the sake of anyone. Real freedom, freedom to choose the right thing, the best for you.
Always bear a few things in mind while exercising your right to choose.
* Never take a decision when you are in a fit of anger or depression.
* Never take a decision when you are emotionally high.
* Why should fads or the decision of the group tie you down?
* What are you?
* What do you want tomorrow to be for you?
No matter how strong the group decision may be, you must think and make your decision. Many times it is necessary to consult before taking a decision. Go to someone whose life you admire, not necessarily the person you like most, but the person who is whole, who is one person, wherever she or he is and whatever she or he does.
* Remember that there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow is hope. Very few things are ‘written in stone’. Most of the mistakes we make can be rectified. They can be corrected. Problems have a solution, and each new day is a new start, a new chance, a New Hope. Indeed the youth are our hope you are our future.
Also remember that your parents love you unconditionally, you have their support and want the best in life for you ¨
COSTA VICTOR NAMPOKA
Mguu ulivyokatisha ndoto za kucheza soka Ulaya
DANIEL MBEGA
Dar es Salaam
NI majira ya saa 5.20 hivi asubuhi, niko hapa Ukonga-Banana nikiwania kupanda daladala la kwenda kwenye kitongoji cha Kitunda-Kibeberu, moja ya vitongoji vinavyokua kwa kasi hapa jijini Dar es Salaam.
Sijui ni umbali gani kutoka hapa, hivyo namuuliza dereva ambaye nimeketi naye pembeni yake. Ananiambia ni mwendo kama wa dakika 15 tu hivi. Nashusha pumzi kwa kujua kwamba kumbe si mbali sana kama nilivyofikiria.
Nawasili kwenye kitongoji cha Kibeberu, ambako ndiko magari yanakogeuzia, na bila kupoteza muda nampigia simu mwenyeji wangu kwamba tayari nimeshafika. Namhurumia huko aliko kama ataamua kuja kunipokea, lakini nafarijika anaponiambia kwamba nimuulize mtu yeyote hapo kituoni atanileta.
Watoto wawili wanajitolea kunipeleka nyumbani kwa mwenyeji wangu, ambaye namkuta akiwa kajilaza kwenye kochi akizungumza na rafiki zake wawili waliomtembelea. Anapenda kuketi vizuri, lakini hali haimruhusu.
“Poleni jamani kwa safari ndefu!” ndivyo anavyoanza kusema huyu mwenyeji wangu, ambaye si mwingine zaidi ya mlinzi mahiri wa timu ya soka ya Taifa, Taifa Stars, pamoja na klabu ya Simba, Costa Victor Nampoka ‘Nyumba’. Anajaribu kuuweka vyema mguu wake wa kulia ambao bado umefungwa bandeji gumu (POP) baada ya kuvunjia mazoezini takribani mwezi mmoja na nusu uliopita.
“Hakuna shaka, Dar es Salaam ni moja na hakuna sehemu unayoweza kusema ni mbali,” namjibu kumpa matumaini.
“Hapana! Pamoja na ukweli kwamba mkoa kazini, lakini naamini uamua kufunga safari mpaka kuja kuniona ni jambo kubwa sana. Mngeweza hata kuniuliza maendeleo yangu kwa njia ya simu. Sina budi kushukuru kwa kuja kunijulia hali,” anasema.
Mara anaingia dada mmoja mweupe hivi ambaye anaketi pamoja na Costa kwenye kochi moja. Costa mwenyewe anamtambulisha kwamba ndiye mkewe, Dina, ambaye wamebahatika kuzaa naye watoto wawili; Victor Costa mwenye miaka miwili na Rio Costa mwenye mwaka 1.5. Anatukaribisha.
Anapoondoka namwambia ni jambo la kawaida kuwatembelea wagonjwa, na katika suala lake yeye ni mmoja wa watu waliotoa mchango mkubwa katika timu ya taifa ya soka ambayo sasa iko katika nafasi nzuri ya kufuzu kwa fainali za Mataifa ya Afrika mwakani ikiwa tu itashinda mechi yake ya mwisho.
“Nashukuru kusikia hivyo, lakini sura zinazokuja hapa daima ni zile nilizozizowea, yaani marafiki zangu na wachezaji wenzangu wa klabu ya Simba, labda na viongozi wa Simba,” anasema kwa huzuni.
“Una maana kwamba viongozi wa timu ya taifa na hata TFF huwa hawakutembelei?” nauliza.
Anasema tangu alipoumia siku tatu kabla ya Taifa Stars kupambana na Zambia katika mechi ya kirafiki na kupelekwa Muhimbili na daktari wa timu Shecky Mngazija, hajatembelewa wala kujuliwa hali hata kwa simu na kiongozi yeyote yule wa chombo hicho cha juu cha soka nchini.
Anaongeza kwamba, ni wachezaji wenzake wa Simba ndio baadhi yao huwa wanawasiliana naye pamoja na viongozi na marafiki wa klabu ambao wameonekana kumjali vya kutosha kiasi cha kutuma gari kila siku katika mechi zote ambazo Simba ilicheza kwenye hatua ya Sita Bora ya Ligi ya Mpito hadi fainali.
“Kwa kweli viongozi wa klabu yangu wananijali sana na sina budi kuwashukuru,” anasema. Kama vile amekumbuka kitu, anasema anamshukuru pia mtu mmoja wa Benki ya NMB anayeitwa Kajura (Imani Kajura ambaye ni Meneja Masoko).
“Huyu jamaa baada ya kutoa zawadi za shilingi 500,000 kwa kila mchezaji kutokana na timu ya Taifa kushinda kule Burkina Faso, alinipigia simu kuniambia nilitakiwa kwenda kusaini fomu za akaunti. Nikamwambia sina hata pesa ya nauli na kwa jinsi ninavyoumwa nisingeweza kupanda daladala, lakini akaniambia nichukue teksi nay eye angelipa. Namshukuru sana,” anasema.
Hata hivyo, amewaasa wachezaji wengine; wa klabu na hata timu ya taifa, kwamba pindi watakapoumia na kushindwa kujuliwa hali na viongozi wao wasife moyo bali hiyo iwe changamoto kwao kufanya vizuri watakaporejea uwanjani.
“Binafsi sina kinyongo na yeyote. Naomba Mungu nipone nirejee uwanjani, ikibidi niliwakilishe taifa langu, kwa sababu natambua kwamba timu ya Taifa ni ya Watanzania wote wala si ya mtu mmoja. Naamini Watanzania milioni kadhaa wako pamoja na mimi na hata walipojua kwamba nimeumia walinitumia meseji za pole zaidi ya 3,000, hata sijui walikoipata namba yangu,” anasema.
Kuvunjika mguu
Costa anasema kwamba walikuwa kwenye mazoezi kama kawaida kwenye uwanja wa Karume, akauzuia mpira bila kumkwatua ama kukwatuliwa, kisha akaserereka.
“Ghafla nikasikia maumivu makali sana, ikabidi wajaribu kuniganga pale, lakini yalipozidi wakanikimbiza Muhimbili. Huko nikaambiwa kwamba nimevunjika mfupa mdogo wa mguu wa kulia. Sikuwa na jinsi, wakanifunga hogo (bandeji gumu – POP) na kusema kwamba nirudi baada ya wiki sita,” anasema kwa majonzi.
Anasema kwamba, baada ya kutolewa kwa bandeji hilo ndipo atakapojua kama atakuwa nje ya uwanja kwa muda gani, kwani mpaka sasa hajaanza hata kuukanyangia mguu huo.
Akasema kuvunjika mguu kumemnyima nafasi ya kuliwakilisha taifa, na zaidi kumechelewesha kutimia kwa ndoto zake kwani pengine hivi sasa angeweza kuwa Afrika Kusini kujaribu kucheza soka ya kulipwa akiwa njiani kwenda cheza Ulaya.
“Kuna wakala mmoja ambaye kwa muda mrefu sasa amekuwa akinufuatilia, yuko Afrika Kusini, na alikwenda Burkina Faso kunitazama, lakini mimi sikuwepo. Ilikuwa niende Afrika Kusini kufanya majaribio na naamini ningewea kufanikiwa,” anasema mchezaji huyo.
Anasema kwamba, alikuwa na matumaini ya kufuzu kwa sababu soka ya Afrika Kusini haina tofauti na ya huku, tena hakuwa mgeni baada ya kucheza kwa muda nchini humo miaka mitatu iliyopita.
“Wanachotuzidi kule ni promosheni, televisheni zinajitahidi sana kuonyesha mpira hata wa daraja la tatu, na hiyo inamsaidia mchezaji kutazama na kuona wapi alipokosea ili kujirekebisha, ama afanye nini kuongeza jitihada,” anasema.
Anaongeza kwamba alishindwa kuendelea kucheza huko kwa sababu klabu aliyokuwa akiichezea wakati ule ya Marlasburg (Tembas) iliyokuwa daraja la kwanza mwaka 2005 ikiwa chini ya kocha wa zamani wa Simba Trott Moloto, iliinunua klabu moja iliyokuwa ligi kuu. Ikabidi wachezaji wa timu hizo wachekechwe, na majungu ndipo yakaibuka ambapo Moloto, ambaye ndiye aliyemfanyia mpango wa kwenda huko, akamgeuka. Ikabidi afungashe virago kurejea.
Hata hivyo, anasema kwamba ndoto zake bado hazijafutika, kwani anaamini anaweza kucheza Ulaya bila matatizo yoyote, na zaidi anasema angependa siku moja avae ‘uzi’ wa Manchester United akicheza pembeni ya Rio Ferdnand ambaye uchezaji wake unamvutia kiasi cha kumwitia mwanawe mdogo jina hilo kutokana na kumhusudu.
Akizungumzia nafasi ya Taifa Stars kufuzu kwa fainali za Mataifa ya Afrika mwakani, Costa (25) ambaye ni mtoto wa nne katika familia ya watoto watano wa mzee Victor Nampoka – wawili wanawake na watatu wanaume, anasema kwamba nafasi ipo, lakini mechi ya mwisho dhidi ya Msumbiji ni ngumu sana.
“Ile mechi ni kama fainali na inabidi maandalizi ya nguvu yafanyike pengine kuliko mechi zote zilizotangulia. Msumbiji ni wazuri sana kuliko hata Burkina Faso, na ina nafasi ya kufuzu ikiwa itashinda na Senegal wakafungwa, hivyo Watanzania tusibweteke bali tujiandae vizuri,” anasema huku akisikitika kwamba anaweza kuikosa mechi hiyo pia ikiwa ataambiwa apumzike.
Akizungumzia kuhusu maendeleo ya soka, mlinzi huyo anasema kwamba hakuna kitakachoinua zaidi ya soka la vijana, na kuongeza kwamba mashindano ya Copa Coca Cola yawe chachu wa klabu na wadau mbalimbali kuanza kuibua vipaji.
“Kule Brazil tulikokwenda kuna taasisi ya soka ya watoto wadogo. Watoto wanatoka nchi mbalimbali kwenda kufundishwa mpira, na wazazi wao wanalipia wastani wa dola 1,500 kwa mwezi ili watoto wao wajue mpira. Tusione wenzetu wamepiga hatua tukadhani kwamba ni miujiza, wamewekeza.
“Watanzania wanapaswa kuunga mkono juhudi za maendeleo ya soka ya vijana, kuanzia kwa wazazi, ambao wanapaswa kuwapa ‘sapoti’ watoto wao ikiwa ni pamoja na kuwapatia vifaa vya michezo na nauli ya kwenda mazoezini,” anaongeza.
Costa aliyemaliza elimu ya msingi mwaka 1994 Kinondoni Hananasif, jijini Dar es Salaam na kuungana na maelfu ya watoto ambao hawakufanikiwa kuchaguliwa kujiunga na sekondari, amewashauri wachezaji kuachana na anasa na kwamba wawe na malengo kama kweli wanataka kupiga hatua katika mchezo huo.
“Sijafanikiwa sana, lakini niseme ukweli kwamba nimejiepusha na mambo mengi. Sivuti sigara wala bangi, halafu niliacha kitambo kunywa pombe, tena basi nilikuwa nikinywa bia mbili ama tatu tu, lakini sasa sitaki kabisa nahitaji kukazana kwenye mpira ambao pekee ndio mwokozi wangu katika maisha,” anamalizia.
Wasifu:
Jina: Costa Victor Nampoka
Kuzaliwa: Oktoba 11, 1982, Dar es Salaam.
Umri: 25
Klabu za awali:
Five Star Kinondoni, Mkunguni FC Ilala, Eleven FC Buguruni, Saddam FC na International FC za Kinondoni.
Taifa Jang’ombe – Zanzibar (1998 – 1999)
Forodha Zanzibar (2000 – 2001)
Mtibwa Sugar (2002)
Simba (2003 – 2004)
Marlsburg – Afrika Kusini (2005)
Simba (2006 – mpaka sasa).
DANIEL MBEGA
Dar es Salaam
NI majira ya saa 5.20 hivi asubuhi, niko hapa Ukonga-Banana nikiwania kupanda daladala la kwenda kwenye kitongoji cha Kitunda-Kibeberu, moja ya vitongoji vinavyokua kwa kasi hapa jijini Dar es Salaam.
Sijui ni umbali gani kutoka hapa, hivyo namuuliza dereva ambaye nimeketi naye pembeni yake. Ananiambia ni mwendo kama wa dakika 15 tu hivi. Nashusha pumzi kwa kujua kwamba kumbe si mbali sana kama nilivyofikiria.
Nawasili kwenye kitongoji cha Kibeberu, ambako ndiko magari yanakogeuzia, na bila kupoteza muda nampigia simu mwenyeji wangu kwamba tayari nimeshafika. Namhurumia huko aliko kama ataamua kuja kunipokea, lakini nafarijika anaponiambia kwamba nimuulize mtu yeyote hapo kituoni atanileta.
Watoto wawili wanajitolea kunipeleka nyumbani kwa mwenyeji wangu, ambaye namkuta akiwa kajilaza kwenye kochi akizungumza na rafiki zake wawili waliomtembelea. Anapenda kuketi vizuri, lakini hali haimruhusu.
“Poleni jamani kwa safari ndefu!” ndivyo anavyoanza kusema huyu mwenyeji wangu, ambaye si mwingine zaidi ya mlinzi mahiri wa timu ya soka ya Taifa, Taifa Stars, pamoja na klabu ya Simba, Costa Victor Nampoka ‘Nyumba’. Anajaribu kuuweka vyema mguu wake wa kulia ambao bado umefungwa bandeji gumu (POP) baada ya kuvunjia mazoezini takribani mwezi mmoja na nusu uliopita.
“Hakuna shaka, Dar es Salaam ni moja na hakuna sehemu unayoweza kusema ni mbali,” namjibu kumpa matumaini.
“Hapana! Pamoja na ukweli kwamba mkoa kazini, lakini naamini uamua kufunga safari mpaka kuja kuniona ni jambo kubwa sana. Mngeweza hata kuniuliza maendeleo yangu kwa njia ya simu. Sina budi kushukuru kwa kuja kunijulia hali,” anasema.
Mara anaingia dada mmoja mweupe hivi ambaye anaketi pamoja na Costa kwenye kochi moja. Costa mwenyewe anamtambulisha kwamba ndiye mkewe, Dina, ambaye wamebahatika kuzaa naye watoto wawili; Victor Costa mwenye miaka miwili na Rio Costa mwenye mwaka 1.5. Anatukaribisha.
Anapoondoka namwambia ni jambo la kawaida kuwatembelea wagonjwa, na katika suala lake yeye ni mmoja wa watu waliotoa mchango mkubwa katika timu ya taifa ya soka ambayo sasa iko katika nafasi nzuri ya kufuzu kwa fainali za Mataifa ya Afrika mwakani ikiwa tu itashinda mechi yake ya mwisho.
“Nashukuru kusikia hivyo, lakini sura zinazokuja hapa daima ni zile nilizozizowea, yaani marafiki zangu na wachezaji wenzangu wa klabu ya Simba, labda na viongozi wa Simba,” anasema kwa huzuni.
“Una maana kwamba viongozi wa timu ya taifa na hata TFF huwa hawakutembelei?” nauliza.
Anasema tangu alipoumia siku tatu kabla ya Taifa Stars kupambana na Zambia katika mechi ya kirafiki na kupelekwa Muhimbili na daktari wa timu Shecky Mngazija, hajatembelewa wala kujuliwa hali hata kwa simu na kiongozi yeyote yule wa chombo hicho cha juu cha soka nchini.
Anaongeza kwamba, ni wachezaji wenzake wa Simba ndio baadhi yao huwa wanawasiliana naye pamoja na viongozi na marafiki wa klabu ambao wameonekana kumjali vya kutosha kiasi cha kutuma gari kila siku katika mechi zote ambazo Simba ilicheza kwenye hatua ya Sita Bora ya Ligi ya Mpito hadi fainali.
“Kwa kweli viongozi wa klabu yangu wananijali sana na sina budi kuwashukuru,” anasema. Kama vile amekumbuka kitu, anasema anamshukuru pia mtu mmoja wa Benki ya NMB anayeitwa Kajura (Imani Kajura ambaye ni Meneja Masoko).
“Huyu jamaa baada ya kutoa zawadi za shilingi 500,000 kwa kila mchezaji kutokana na timu ya Taifa kushinda kule Burkina Faso, alinipigia simu kuniambia nilitakiwa kwenda kusaini fomu za akaunti. Nikamwambia sina hata pesa ya nauli na kwa jinsi ninavyoumwa nisingeweza kupanda daladala, lakini akaniambia nichukue teksi nay eye angelipa. Namshukuru sana,” anasema.
Hata hivyo, amewaasa wachezaji wengine; wa klabu na hata timu ya taifa, kwamba pindi watakapoumia na kushindwa kujuliwa hali na viongozi wao wasife moyo bali hiyo iwe changamoto kwao kufanya vizuri watakaporejea uwanjani.
“Binafsi sina kinyongo na yeyote. Naomba Mungu nipone nirejee uwanjani, ikibidi niliwakilishe taifa langu, kwa sababu natambua kwamba timu ya Taifa ni ya Watanzania wote wala si ya mtu mmoja. Naamini Watanzania milioni kadhaa wako pamoja na mimi na hata walipojua kwamba nimeumia walinitumia meseji za pole zaidi ya 3,000, hata sijui walikoipata namba yangu,” anasema.
Kuvunjika mguu
Costa anasema kwamba walikuwa kwenye mazoezi kama kawaida kwenye uwanja wa Karume, akauzuia mpira bila kumkwatua ama kukwatuliwa, kisha akaserereka.
“Ghafla nikasikia maumivu makali sana, ikabidi wajaribu kuniganga pale, lakini yalipozidi wakanikimbiza Muhimbili. Huko nikaambiwa kwamba nimevunjika mfupa mdogo wa mguu wa kulia. Sikuwa na jinsi, wakanifunga hogo (bandeji gumu – POP) na kusema kwamba nirudi baada ya wiki sita,” anasema kwa majonzi.
Anasema kwamba, baada ya kutolewa kwa bandeji hilo ndipo atakapojua kama atakuwa nje ya uwanja kwa muda gani, kwani mpaka sasa hajaanza hata kuukanyangia mguu huo.
Akasema kuvunjika mguu kumemnyima nafasi ya kuliwakilisha taifa, na zaidi kumechelewesha kutimia kwa ndoto zake kwani pengine hivi sasa angeweza kuwa Afrika Kusini kujaribu kucheza soka ya kulipwa akiwa njiani kwenda cheza Ulaya.
“Kuna wakala mmoja ambaye kwa muda mrefu sasa amekuwa akinufuatilia, yuko Afrika Kusini, na alikwenda Burkina Faso kunitazama, lakini mimi sikuwepo. Ilikuwa niende Afrika Kusini kufanya majaribio na naamini ningewea kufanikiwa,” anasema mchezaji huyo.
Anasema kwamba, alikuwa na matumaini ya kufuzu kwa sababu soka ya Afrika Kusini haina tofauti na ya huku, tena hakuwa mgeni baada ya kucheza kwa muda nchini humo miaka mitatu iliyopita.
“Wanachotuzidi kule ni promosheni, televisheni zinajitahidi sana kuonyesha mpira hata wa daraja la tatu, na hiyo inamsaidia mchezaji kutazama na kuona wapi alipokosea ili kujirekebisha, ama afanye nini kuongeza jitihada,” anasema.
Anaongeza kwamba alishindwa kuendelea kucheza huko kwa sababu klabu aliyokuwa akiichezea wakati ule ya Marlasburg (Tembas) iliyokuwa daraja la kwanza mwaka 2005 ikiwa chini ya kocha wa zamani wa Simba Trott Moloto, iliinunua klabu moja iliyokuwa ligi kuu. Ikabidi wachezaji wa timu hizo wachekechwe, na majungu ndipo yakaibuka ambapo Moloto, ambaye ndiye aliyemfanyia mpango wa kwenda huko, akamgeuka. Ikabidi afungashe virago kurejea.
Hata hivyo, anasema kwamba ndoto zake bado hazijafutika, kwani anaamini anaweza kucheza Ulaya bila matatizo yoyote, na zaidi anasema angependa siku moja avae ‘uzi’ wa Manchester United akicheza pembeni ya Rio Ferdnand ambaye uchezaji wake unamvutia kiasi cha kumwitia mwanawe mdogo jina hilo kutokana na kumhusudu.
Akizungumzia nafasi ya Taifa Stars kufuzu kwa fainali za Mataifa ya Afrika mwakani, Costa (25) ambaye ni mtoto wa nne katika familia ya watoto watano wa mzee Victor Nampoka – wawili wanawake na watatu wanaume, anasema kwamba nafasi ipo, lakini mechi ya mwisho dhidi ya Msumbiji ni ngumu sana.
“Ile mechi ni kama fainali na inabidi maandalizi ya nguvu yafanyike pengine kuliko mechi zote zilizotangulia. Msumbiji ni wazuri sana kuliko hata Burkina Faso, na ina nafasi ya kufuzu ikiwa itashinda na Senegal wakafungwa, hivyo Watanzania tusibweteke bali tujiandae vizuri,” anasema huku akisikitika kwamba anaweza kuikosa mechi hiyo pia ikiwa ataambiwa apumzike.
Akizungumzia kuhusu maendeleo ya soka, mlinzi huyo anasema kwamba hakuna kitakachoinua zaidi ya soka la vijana, na kuongeza kwamba mashindano ya Copa Coca Cola yawe chachu wa klabu na wadau mbalimbali kuanza kuibua vipaji.
“Kule Brazil tulikokwenda kuna taasisi ya soka ya watoto wadogo. Watoto wanatoka nchi mbalimbali kwenda kufundishwa mpira, na wazazi wao wanalipia wastani wa dola 1,500 kwa mwezi ili watoto wao wajue mpira. Tusione wenzetu wamepiga hatua tukadhani kwamba ni miujiza, wamewekeza.
“Watanzania wanapaswa kuunga mkono juhudi za maendeleo ya soka ya vijana, kuanzia kwa wazazi, ambao wanapaswa kuwapa ‘sapoti’ watoto wao ikiwa ni pamoja na kuwapatia vifaa vya michezo na nauli ya kwenda mazoezini,” anaongeza.
Costa aliyemaliza elimu ya msingi mwaka 1994 Kinondoni Hananasif, jijini Dar es Salaam na kuungana na maelfu ya watoto ambao hawakufanikiwa kuchaguliwa kujiunga na sekondari, amewashauri wachezaji kuachana na anasa na kwamba wawe na malengo kama kweli wanataka kupiga hatua katika mchezo huo.
“Sijafanikiwa sana, lakini niseme ukweli kwamba nimejiepusha na mambo mengi. Sivuti sigara wala bangi, halafu niliacha kitambo kunywa pombe, tena basi nilikuwa nikinywa bia mbili ama tatu tu, lakini sasa sitaki kabisa nahitaji kukazana kwenye mpira ambao pekee ndio mwokozi wangu katika maisha,” anamalizia.
Wasifu:
Jina: Costa Victor Nampoka
Kuzaliwa: Oktoba 11, 1982, Dar es Salaam.
Umri: 25
Klabu za awali:
Five Star Kinondoni, Mkunguni FC Ilala, Eleven FC Buguruni, Saddam FC na International FC za Kinondoni.
Taifa Jang’ombe – Zanzibar (1998 – 1999)
Forodha Zanzibar (2000 – 2001)
Mtibwa Sugar (2002)
Simba (2003 – 2004)
Marlsburg – Afrika Kusini (2005)
Simba (2006 – mpaka sasa).
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